Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
