yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
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