My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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