Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
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I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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