how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize