DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
