My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
