I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
