It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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