So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize