You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
