Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
