Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
