i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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