He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
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