i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
