Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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