where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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