The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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