YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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