Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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