Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
