why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
