Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
