Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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