I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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