i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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