Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
