I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
