Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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