You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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