I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
