I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
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On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
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This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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