I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder