Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.

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(301): View more from Maryland

I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(310): View more from California

Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.

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(813): View more from Florida

And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close

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(586): View more from Michigan

I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .

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