all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.