return my video game
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow