Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?

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(480): how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back? http://tfl.nu/0voi

Replies (35) Good night (858) Bad night (3495)
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(831): View more from California

I puked off the balcony.

(1-831): View more from California

Not horrible

(831): View more from California

Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.

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(831): I puked off the balcony. (1-831): Not horrible (831): Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza. http://tfl.nu/7wv6

Replies (11) Good night (2441) Bad night (9086)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.

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(617): I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made. http://tfl.nu/enkt

Replies (8) Good night (1185) Bad night (3476)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?

(1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm so glad i pay social security

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(610): Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year? (1-610): I'm so glad i pay social security http://tfl.nu/rnv1

Replies (17) Good night (4355) Bad night (948)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.

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(610): it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again. http://tfl.nu/0grs

Replies (30) Good night (6469) Bad night (1127)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.

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(717): I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better. http://tfl.nu/z41g

Replies (13) Good night (4610) Bad night (950)
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(813): View more from Florida

were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.

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(813): were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes. http://tfl.nu/3m35

Replies (20) Good night (5023) Bad night (1416)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Hippo gnu deer

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(440): Hippo gnu deer http://tfl.nu/wuid

Replies (17) Good night (5619) Bad night (1078)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.

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(484): I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet. http://tfl.nu/aaoq

Replies (1) Good night (1060) Bad night (1682)
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(805): View more from California

No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear

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(805): No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear http://tfl.nu/ak00

Replies (5) Good night (1634) Bad night (1291)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.

(440): View more from Ohio

The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.

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(440): Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions. (440): The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America. http://tfl.nu/cnoq

Replies (14) Good night (1653) Bad night (656)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor

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(412): you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor http://tfl.nu/kbco

Replies (4) Good night (1641) Bad night (592)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."

(1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?

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(780): In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared." (1-780): Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout? http://tfl.nu/ziqx

Replies (2) Good night (886) Bad night (343)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.

(+41): View more from Switzerland

What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?

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(+44): Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls. (+41): What a patriot you are. How'd it happen? http://tfl.nu/t9je

Replies (1) Good night (519) Bad night (283)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.

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(250): I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay. http://tfl.nu/u9js

Replies (7) Good night (620) Bad night (317)

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