Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Crying babies in a bar. Really?

  (708): View more from Illinois

  And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.

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  (708): Crying babies in a bar. Really? (708): And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden. http://tfl.nu/e52e
  Replies (10) Good night (552) Bad night (2435)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.

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  (519): While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf. http://tfl.nu/v6r3
  Replies (22) Good night (3376) Bad night (8403)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?

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  (712): whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice? http://tfl.nu/r74z
  Replies (90) Good night (4092) Bad night (1110)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.

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  (205): just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate. http://tfl.nu/3189
  Replies (26) Good night (1073) Bad night (7755)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  Or a large amount of condoms?!?

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  (612): If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation. (1-612): Or a large amount of condoms?!? http://tfl.nu/muu8
  Replies (12) Good night (6400) Bad night (1112)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"

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  (505): We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!" http://tfl.nu/sk68
  Replies (10) Good night (4762) Bad night (1124)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.

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  (262): Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life. http://tfl.nu/enlv
  Replies (15) Good night (1020) Bad night (3089)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.

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  (414): Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests. http://tfl.nu/dptn
  Replies (12) Good night (4223) Bad night (890)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.

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  (662): She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked. http://tfl.nu/ji5s
  Replies (8) Good night (2937) Bad night (662)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.

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  (828): YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN. http://tfl.nu/nkzr
  Replies (2) Good night (1875) Bad night (1119)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.

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  (503): I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested. http://tfl.nu/ut9v
  Replies (1) Good night (1665) Bad night (1050)
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  (714): View more from California

  What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.

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  (714): What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work. http://tfl.nu/so92
  Replies (7) Good night (1256) Bad night (627)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.

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  (850): I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here. http://tfl.nu/dms5
  Replies (7) Good night (910) Bad night (425)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.

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  (865): My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy. http://tfl.nu/ige6
  Replies (4) Good night (1621) Bad night (407)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I am not being the messenger for your booty call.

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.

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  (519): I am not being the messenger for your booty call. (250): I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one. http://tfl.nu/rzt1
  Replies (1) Good night (807) Bad night (269)

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