Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami

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  (949): Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami http://tfl.nu/v8jf
  Replies (11) Good night (526) Bad night (2694)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.

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  (613): no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds. http://tfl.nu/h5lf
  Replies (12) Good night (525) Bad night (3253)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love

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  (330): i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love http://tfl.nu/ix9b
  Replies (26) Good night (6396) Bad night (620)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.

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  (480): My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off. (1-480): Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist. http://tfl.nu/hr64
  Replies (44) Good night (1511) Bad night (4456)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one

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  (580): Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one http://tfl.nu/xo36
  Replies (7) Good night (2926) Bad night (1247)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards

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  (540): I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards http://tfl.nu/0mpw
  Replies (12) Good night (1261) Bad night (2960)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?

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  (603): should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format? http://tfl.nu/bwcb
  Replies (26) Good night (11557) Bad night (1619)
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  (716): View more from New York

  do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth

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  (716): do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth http://tfl.nu/ncht
  Replies (13) Good night (1202) Bad night (3197)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol

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  (503): Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol http://tfl.nu/9mqs
  Replies (10) Good night (1695) Bad night (961)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode

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  (425): Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode http://tfl.nu/uu73
  Replies (5) Good night (392) Bad night (642)
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  (1918): View more from

  If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.

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  (1918): If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones. http://tfl.nu/ifdn
  Replies (6) Good night (421) Bad night (846)
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  (707): View more from California

  Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..

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  (707): Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult.. http://tfl.nu/smpu
  Replies (6) Good night (797) Bad night (284)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.

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  (402): Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that. http://tfl.nu/5bb0
  Replies (1) Good night (548) Bad night (210)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.

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  (503): It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings. http://tfl.nu/z3ih
  Replies (3) Good night (676) Bad night (243)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night

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  (508): I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night http://tfl.nu/3slk
  Replies (2) Good night (370) Bad night (246)

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