Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
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You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
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You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.