pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize