I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.