Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
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This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
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dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.