I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Can you bring me the toilet please
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
