Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
