Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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