i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
