he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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