going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You don't make any sense
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I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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