do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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