see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
