I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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