I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Houston, we have a blender
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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