You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
