There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
