today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
