remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
