Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
