Screwed.edu
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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