he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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