I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
