I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
