I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I got her a Nickelback box set.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
