just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
why is half of my head shaved?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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