I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
