I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
