I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Two words: nipple clamps
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